getsomesleep | 十四 ; shí sì

[Having set the time and given Smoke instructions as to how to get to his house, Huo made some effort toward making the promised meal a good one. The steamed buns weren't very fancy food, but he was good at making them and the vegetables were fresh. It was compensation for Smoke's time, but it was more than that - considering the questions he was going to ask, it might wind up serving as an apology of sorts, as well.

At the appointed time, the table was set, and Huo sat at it, waiting, idly toying with his wooden flute. Along with the freshly cooked food, the table also held a small, closed basket; through the wicker, light gleamed on something within.]

[Smoke arrived more or less on time, having never been to Huo's place before. It was definitely different.

He knocked on the door and called out in a sing-song voice.]

Hello~ Mr. Very-Well-Equipped comes in search of Mr. Seeking-Advice~

[Well, that sounded about right. Huo opened the door with a smile, moving aside to let Smoke in. The small house was very neat, dominated entirely by piled books and papers, and the occasional mechanical or electric part.]

Hello, Smoke-jūn. Thank you for coming. He gestured toward the table.] You enjoy steamed buns, I hope.

Absolutely I do! [Smoke said as he entered. He took a look or two around, then sat down at the table.] So what's up?

[Some things didn't need to be articulated. Huo didn't even bother explaining - he simply reached across the table and removed the cover from the wicker basket to show the gleaming memory crystal within.]

This.

[At first, Smoke thinks, That's it? Until he realized that Huo was new enough this was likely the first time he'd ever received a memory crystal.]

Do you know what it is and aren't sure how to feel about it, or need me to explain something here?

[Then he picks up a steamed bun & takes a bite]

I know what it is. [Thoughtful, Huo fiddles with the wicker cover, passing it from hand to hand.] I must ask to benefit from your experience. IS there proper procedure for making use of these?

Near as I can figure you just kinda hold on tight. It all goes by in a flash.

[Huo nods. It may be obvious to Smoke, but under the circumstances, he considered no detail trivial.]

And there are additional effects. [Half statement, half question.] A price.

[Smoke finishes his bite before replying.]

You can't know how bad or ridiculous it'll be, though, man. Sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet if remembering's that important to you. [He gestured with the hand holding the bun towards Huo.] I've never heard of anyone dying from it, though - usually just weird stuff.

Bite the - ah. [Huo nodded slowly. So far the answers were what he expected. Which was not, in fact, a good thing.]

You treat it very casually. [His voice was quiet.] I suppose remembering must be important to everyone.

Ah - that.

[He wanted to light up, but was indoors and in someone else's house, so he held off for now.] I've just seen my fair share of these things in 2 years - hard to get excited about it anymore.

That and it's not exactly as easy to remember the past as some people think.

[Now he was getting somewhere. Somewhere that demanded honesty.]

Smoke-jūn - if you risk yourself in telling me about what I can expect, please, stop now. But if not... [He left the sentence hanging. Pushing, but pushing gently.]

No, risky is talking smack about the tree within root-through-the-chest distance.

[He pulled out his cigarette pack and tapped it on the table. Nervous habit.]

The problem is that that thing - [He pointed to the memory crystal] - doesn't have a time-stamp on it. Was it from when you were a kid? Or an adult? Or on your death-bed? Who knows - and even if you figure that much out, somebody else may have a different spin on it. Somebody else you used to know and wound up here for whatever reason.

[He leaned back in his chair, sighing.] The longer I'm here, the more it all gets muddled up. And I'm not enough of a braniac to sort it all out. [He shrugged.] So I just have other priorities now instead of memory crystals, is all.

... Doesn't mean you have to feel that way, though. [That last part was important to add. He didn't like pressuring people in Edensphere to adopt his - apparently - unpopular stance on things. Then again, there weren't many people left who'd been there as long as he had.]

[Smoke's fiddling with the cigarette pack didn't escape Huo's notice. He pushed his chair back, rising.] Shall I open a window? [Small distractions like that were always useful when there were thoughts to be gathered, and Smoke as giving him much.]

Please forgive my speaking frankly, [he said as he walked around the room, pushing open one window then another,] but you make it sound as though these crystals are less an opportunity to regain what was lost, and more another mean for the Tree to toy with us.

[His voice was calm, curious but businesslike. It was less a question of feelings and more a question of gain and loss. There was a intelligence behind the Tree, and he could not help but treat each of its antics as a personal challenge. Memories could not be an exception.]

Thanks. [Smoke walked over to the window and lit up, making sure to exhale out the window in addition to leaving his cigarette hang there.]

Anymore, I'd guess it was both. They say: "Everything has price here; nothing's easy or free." Yeah I was happy at first to learn about my past, but it wasn't like getting it 1-2-3 in order. It's as much a puzzle we have to figure out as how the hell we got here in the first place. You get fragments - a sound here, a picture there, a scent, a taste, someone's voice...

[He turned around, elbows resting on the windowsill.] I mean, I've known people to find out they were rotten scumbags back there, or law-defenders, or they died, were married, had kids, had a mission, had nothing...

But that was then. We aren't the same people we were yesterday - back there or here. It just makes me feel like [he started to raise his cig to his lips again] memories, no memories, doesn't make a bit of difference to me. [He took a long drag on his cig then.]

Sorry but you did ask.

[He did ask, and now Huo was content to listen, to let Smoke say however much he wanted or needed to in his own time. He had time, certainly. The crystal was not going anywhere, and neither was he.

Settling back down, he watched Smoke at the window, watched the gray trail from the cigarette wind shapes against the cold sky and listened to the words behind the words. He'd chosen the right man to ask. Smoke's world-weary perspective - whether was born of conviction or frustration - was, ironically, refreshing. And there was something he hadn't said but that Huo understood, anyway - there was no price to not using the crystal.]

Is that not a privilege we may not have? [He spoke quietly, without leaving his seat - without really moving much at all, almost eerily still.] Are we not obligated to know ourselves - so that if there is in us potential to do harm, it does not catch us unaware? [He knew that it couldn't possibly be called an innocent question, but the truth was that as his dilemmas went, this was the simplest one.]

[Smoke couldn't perceive much of Huo's thoughts save the fact that he was obviously still interested in what Smoke knew, or at least believed enough that it resolved itself as his own personal truth. That much he was happy about.]

Even if you could blow up the world back then, in your past life, if you've decided to be a pacifist here - does it matter in the end? Here, we don't know the difference between a pacifist with the power of hellfire and a pacifist with no powers at all.

Power is not the problem.

[Briefly he still looked down at the table, then shifted his gaze up to meet Smoke's eyes. His tone was clipped - almost challenging. This was not a subject to be waved aside.]

The problem is one of character. One who knows himself to be easily swayed by temptation, who is aware of his unscrupulous appetites, may control himself and do no harm. Yet without awareness, there is no control. And without self-knowledge, there is no safety.

[Smoke shrugged]

Plenty of us aren't aware of our pasts. Our... characters change every day. Besides... [he smirked] Temptation's not always a bad thing.

[Huo responded with a resolute shake of the head.] One's essence is not so easily transformed. True virtue is the top of a great mountain, achieved only by effort, sometimes by great pain. In believing otherwise, do we not risk complacency?

[He paused then, glancing away.] Forgive me. You have come to give advice, and here I am, lecturing you. [Smoke's choices were his own. It was difficult to think of any choice as truly right.] I fear I'm not much for temptation.

Ah, no big deal. Get the feeling I'm used to being lectured. [He inhales from his cig again and taps it out over the window as he exhales.]

So aside from all that... any other questions this humble sinner can answer?

十四 ; shí sì

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十四 ; shí sì